With A Little Help From My Friends

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends






To be honest, I truly love so many people. People come and go as they may please, but only a handful of those people ever stop to notice the effect they've had on my life. 


Some may call it a problem- the fact that I can get so easily attached to someone so quickly, but I see it as a blessing. If I had the ability to go back and change my life, I wouldn't alter a single thing if it meant losing someone- even a mere acquaintance- in the end. 


My family and my friends (but moreso my friends) mold who I am and who I've become. And while I love the friends that I've had through high school with every bit of my being, I've also come to truly love the people I've been living with for the past three months. They've helped me grow so much as an individual, it really is unbelievable. 


In just one semester I've learned so much, but most importantly, I've learned to: 


Relax like TK
Bitch like Rob
Smile like Mike
Laugh like Elise
Care like Nick
Strive like Janam
and Love like Matt.


I don't know what I'd do without all of the people I've met this year. I don't know what I'd do without the friends I've had since high school. I don't know what I'd do without a little help from my friends... 


Cheesy, I know. 


But in all seriousness, I don't know... however I feel confident saying that I'll never need to wonder... 




Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends... 

Who You'd Be Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.




One year. 


That's how long you've been gone; it's how long I've been missing you. 


Not a day goes by when I don't think of how my life would be different, had you lived. But then I think about the concept of fate and how this was all "supposed" to happen anyway.... 


However, that's all arguable, in its own right. Who knows if it was fate that took you away... Or if it was fate that brought me here... I guess we'll never know for certain, but it's all happened nonetheless. 


Shit happens, life goes on. 


Sadly enough, this is the phrase I've come to live by. If it's fate that's dictating our lives, I don't understand why it feels the need to be so awful. If it's karma that makes the world turn, I don't understand what I've done wrong. If some greater power is behind all of this, I wonder if it uses humans like pawns, acting only for its own entertainment.  


I just don't understand, which is why I try my best to live on a day-to-day basis. 


Today had me in tears. But tomorrow will be a new day. And if tomorrow doesn't work out so well, there's always the day after.


Life is a cycle of occurrences, and as one of my dear friends eloquently stated,


 "I am not the sum of my parts." 


Chew on that. 

Help!

...I need somebody!
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?




Where does one begin? College. 


College begins the actual shaping of the rest of one's life. It molds character, illuminates flaws, and extracts a combination of both basic humanity, and general asshole-ness. College can change our lives in so many subliminal ways that even after one semester, we can begin to notice differences in the ways we think, act, and live. 


Nearing the end of semester one at UMass, I can honestly say that I have changed in so many ways. At the present moment, I'm not quite sure if it's been for the better or not... but changes have happened nonetheless, and I must embrace them with the grace and dignity I was raised with. I've begun to think on a broader spectrum, take nonchalant stances on senseless dilemmas, and use all of the advice I never cared to follow. 


This brings me to my present need for advice...


Being as broad as possible, I currently find myself unsure of a certain decision I've made in recent days. However, I'm unsure as to whether I'm actually unsure or not... sticky, I know. 


Mind you, the decision I made would have been completely out of the ordinary for who I was this time last year. 


I've forever been a person who enjoys consistency in life. Familiarity was my friend while Change was always the devil. The sheer fact that I wouldn't have made this decision last year leaves me in an uneasy state of mind. But what do I do? I've assembled pro/con lists, pursued the advice of close friends, and even flipped a coin... all of which have told me that the decision I made was right. 


Perhaps I should just shrug this feeling off and hope, with all of my will, that this awkward sensation says "goodbye" in good time...




And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.