...I need somebody!
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
Where does one begin? College.
College begins the actual shaping of the rest of one's life. It molds character, illuminates flaws, and extracts a combination of both basic humanity, and general asshole-ness. College can change our lives in so many subliminal ways that even after one semester, we can begin to notice differences in the ways we think, act, and live.
Nearing the end of semester one at UMass, I can honestly say that I have changed in so many ways. At the present moment, I'm not quite sure if it's been for the better or not... but changes have happened nonetheless, and I must embrace them with the grace and dignity I was raised with. I've begun to think on a broader spectrum, take nonchalant stances on senseless dilemmas, and use all of the advice I never cared to follow.
This brings me to my present need for advice...
Being as broad as possible, I currently find myself unsure of a certain decision I've made in recent days. However, I'm unsure as to whether I'm actually unsure or not... sticky, I know.
Mind you, the decision I made would have been completely out of the ordinary for who I was this time last year.
I've forever been a person who enjoys consistency in life. Familiarity was my friend while Change was always the devil. The sheer fact that I wouldn't have made this decision last year leaves me in an uneasy state of mind. But what do I do? I've assembled pro/con lists, pursued the advice of close friends, and even flipped a coin... all of which have told me that the decision I made was right.
Perhaps I should just shrug this feeling off and hope, with all of my will, that this awkward sensation says "goodbye" in good time...
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.
