Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
One year.
That's how long you've been gone; it's how long I've been missing you.
Not a day goes by when I don't think of how my life would be different, had you lived. But then I think about the concept of fate and how this was all "supposed" to happen anyway....
However, that's all arguable, in its own right. Who knows if it was fate that took you away... Or if it was fate that brought me here... I guess we'll never know for certain, but it's all happened nonetheless.
Shit happens, life goes on.
Sadly enough, this is the phrase I've come to live by. If it's fate that's dictating our lives, I don't understand why it feels the need to be so awful. If it's karma that makes the world turn, I don't understand what I've done wrong. If some greater power is behind all of this, I wonder if it uses humans like pawns, acting only for its own entertainment.
I just don't understand, which is why I try my best to live on a day-to-day basis.
Today had me in tears. But tomorrow will be a new day. And if tomorrow doesn't work out so well, there's always the day after.
Life is a cycle of occurrences, and as one of my dear friends eloquently stated,
"I am not the sum of my parts."
Chew on that.
